I went into this field of work mostly because I have an intense desire to help people live happy, healthy lives– but also because I needed to understand why people do some of the things they do… As I’ve stated in previous posts, a man I intended to marry about 9 years ago abruptly died. He apparently was involved with other women, lied about a lot of things, and wasn’t actually who he said he was. After his death, I needed to understand why people lie and cheat and stir up trouble. I was left with so many unanswered questions and a feeling of disorientation; but mainly I wanted to find the answer to the question “what makes someone into a monster”? My only brother disowned me at that time because the man I speak of was black—pure racial bigotry. This made my brother look like a monster to me.
We all have the capability of turning into monsters. We have hurt people and may seem like a monster to them. I have clients that believe their spouse is the bad guy or monster. Usually, that is just perspective and hurt feelings– but sometimes it is very real. There are real monsters out there in our world. Many of which are hiding and you simply don’t know their true nature until well after you’ve let them into your life.
I had a recent family emergency and in the midst of trying to handle it, a friend of ours decided to attempt to stir up issues between me and my husband. I found that to feel monstrous. In trying times, when life gets hard and things happen in your world that are difficult to cope with, true colors, the true nature of people, are usually revealed.
There are real monsters—people who molest children: People who murder. People who neglect their babies. People who do evil.
In therapy, people are dealing with being molested by a parent, trauma, death, addictive behavior or having grown up in homes with alcoholic parents. Monsters are real, folks! They come in all shapes and sizes – they can even look like your best friend.
We all have the capability of being a monster and we all have a monster inside. There is the monster that antagonizes your thinking; the monster that tells you to keep feeling shame; the monster that tells you abandonment is coming; the monster that fills you with anxiety; and many more monsters.
Come to therapy and learn to tame these monsters in you. Once you do tame these monsters, you can identify and deal with the other monsters in the world we live in.